Stop Taking Every Setback So Personally

One of the themes I've been reflecting on when it comes to my students and my own life ever since I got into self-improvement is the ability to experiment.

A lot of times I see students try out new things and get frustrated pretty quickly.

I've seen this with guys who are posting content.
I've seen this with men who are trying out sales outreach.
I've seen this with dudes when it comes to approaching women.

I've even seen this with men who are trying out new routines, scheduling, and organization.

And I've been that guy myself.... so I get it.

Everything I want, I want it yesterday haha.

This feeling is normal... however, it works against you when you fall into the stories your mind tells you:

"Yeah sales just isn't for me."
"Approaching women is just too awkward for me."
"Well maybe I don't have the personality to create content."

Then I get to ask them this question...

"Well why did you sign up for coaching? This is what you said you want isn't it?"

Here's the thing.

If what you want is easy then you would've already had it by now.

But there is a reason why you are not making the income you want.

There is a reason why your calendar does not have first dates lined up.

There is a reason why you don't have much of a social life.

Because these things require you to step out of your comfort zone.

I wrote a Tweet and made an Instagram post about this the other day...

How it's easy to love your business when revenue is coming in as planned.

It's easy to love dating when you have dates lined up on your calendar and the women are putting genuine effort and interest to hang out.

It's easy to love your friends or your significant other when you are getting along with each other.

But it's NOT easy at all when...

- Revenue is inconsistent.
- Systems in your business have leaks.
- You've approached over 20 women but haven't been on a first date in weeks or even months.

These moments are not just obstacles.

They are OPPORTUNITIES for you to learn more about yourself.

To experiment with different ideas.
To tweak up your gameplan a bit.
To learn more about yourself and the process you signed up for.

Every man must do this in his life if he wants to achieve anything fulfilling.

None of us get shortcuts to skip this part of the game.

If you want to meet the love of your life you're going to need to date women who are not aligned with you.

How else are you going to know what works for you if you don't have experiences that show you what doesn't work for you?

How else are you going to find your own voice when it comes to creating content, running sales calls, or how you service others in your business unless you see what is NOT aligned with you?

Sometimes the process itself is wrong.

Sometimes your thoughts about the process are wrong.

Sometimes the process is good, but it just has some small pieces that are holding you back.

Sometimes the thing holding you back could be happening in a completely different area of your life and it's blocking you from advancing towards your goal.

I've seen so many different situations in almost 5 years of coaching others.

So many coaches in the online self-improvement space show off only the highlight reels around their life (for marketing purposes) they forget to be honest in what it takes to get to what they have now.

So you watch their content, think it's easy, and get discouraged if you don't land it the first few times.

And unfortunately I get it... it's a part of the marketing tactics the industry has been taught to get you to buy their shit ASAP.

And as someone who is a part of the industry I am seeing a shift.

I am seeing more up and coming coaches being real with their audience and transparent of their own lives.

Not hiding behind a methodology, philosophy, or highlights of a lifestyle they are promoting.

Most of them are doing exactly what I am doing on a daily basis.

Waking up, working on their mind and body, and then working on their businesses.

Some have a social life and some don't.

That's literally it.

The process is mundane, repetitive, and boring.

That is what real growth looks like.

But anyways, this newsletter today is not about exposing the self-improvement industry.

Maybe that can be a topic for another day.

What I am really getting at is you need to learn to be cool with experimentation.

You need to accept whatever you want in life will require a process.

That process will take longer than you expect.

And the best way to get to where you want "faster" is by learning to love being present with what you signed up for.

If you are learning to become confident in dating.

You might as well put your ego aside, not take losses so personally, and learn.

Become curious in what makes you feel insecure, become curious in what parts of your personality are strengths when it comes to communicating with women.

Learn about what parts of your personality are holding you back when it comes to women.

If you want to build a business, learn to explore your curiosities and how you can monetize them.

Instead of putting so much pressure on yourself to figure it all out today.

You can put in daily and consistent action to just show up and engage.

See where it goes.

Learn to love mastering a skill because mastery is a never ending process.

This is the way to success with the least resistance if you want to truly dive into something outside of your comfort zone.

This right here is a huge hurdle for a lot of the guys who join my group.

But once they learn this inner skillset, of presence and patience, they make room for more mental energy to actually focus on the craft rather than focusing so much of their energy on wanting the outcome from the craft.

Whether you want to go on more dates.
Whether you want to make your side hustle a full time business.
Or even if you want to make new friends and expand your social circle.

All of these things require the inner skillsets.

Patience and learning to love the process for what it is is a MAJOR inner skillset you must master.

And if that is something you have struggle with.

Let's hop on a call together.

Your lack of patience and resistance to experimentation could be coming from a subconscious pattern of lacking self-worth, not feeling safe, or so many other things.

But let's learn more about yourself together as a team.

And from there, the more you understand yourself, the more easy it becomes to create new behavior patterns that line up with the direction you want to go in.

To become the man that can not only create the outcomes in his life but to be able to hold it and sustain it.

So click here if you want to hop on a call and get to know each other.

From there, if we resonate, we can discuss further what being a part of The Sovereign Man Brotherhood can look like for you.

Much love,

Shawn "Sheshn" Heshmatpour

Men's Identity & Performance Coach | Self-Mastery | Dating | Business

Owner of The Sovereign Man Brotherhood

Owner of Sheshn's Life Coaching